Pants-on-Fire Resolutions of America’s Political Elite

This is from Joe For America.

Enough said!

Barrack Hussein Obama~ 

• I SHALL encourage all citizens to express, without fear of retribution, their thoughts and feelings about Obamacare.
• I SHALL declare that anti-Obamacare folks are not political dissidents, but merely “misguided belief holders.” If they like their beliefs, they can keep their beliefs. Period.
• I SHALL assure everyone who takes action to repeal Obamacare, that they will not be enrolled in “belief adjustment” seminars or railroaded to FEMA re-education camps.
• I SHALL cancel shovel-ready railroad projects linking hundreds of FEMA re-education camps that are under construction.
• I SHALL re-open the White House to the public, re-instate veteran’s benefits, cancel welfare to illegal aliens, rebuild citizen trust in my transparent government, and never again take a selfie while wearing my onesie.

Michelle Obama 

• I SHALL celebrate being “fifty and fabulous” with a low-key, budget-friendly birthday gathering.

• I SHALL develop a behind-the-scenes program to share my vast personal experience with fitness, high fashion, and cosmetic make-over techniques.
• I SHALL resist pressure from Valerie to nominate me to the next wide open seat on the Supreme Court.
  
• I SHALL cease writing about the need to eat healthy food (especially carrots) since the right-wing sabotaged sales of my home gardening book.

Joe Biden~

• I SHALL campaign to become the democrat candidate for president in 2016 by maintaining high media visibility with witty comments and displays of my sexy, manly body.
• I SHALL select Hillary for my vice-president to help her gain the experience she did not acquire as Secretary of State while country-hopping on her quest for photo ops and a decent haircut.

Eric Holder~

• I SHALL contemplate the sage advice of Horton, my favorite elephant, who . . .
  “meant what he said,
  and said what he meant,
  and always was truthful,
  100%”
• I SHALL direct my Department of Injustice to prosecute law breakers without prejudice regarding race, color, and party affiliation, even if the perpetrators cling to God and guns, drive pick-up trucks, live in or near swamps, and have really long beards.

John Boehner~

• I SHALL find the courage to just say “no” to Harry Reid.
• I SHALL stop flip-flopping from republican to rino to democrat to progressive kool-aid drinker and back to republican.
• I SHALL restore my skin to its natural color, whatever that is.
• I SHALL never ever cry in public again.

Hillary Clinton~

• I SHALL complete my next best seller, “It Takes the Village People to Transform a Country.”
• I SHALL continue my  investigation regarding the loss of four American lives and 20,000 surface-to-air missiles during the Benghazi attack.
• I SHALL appear humble while accepting awards for my work that has made a difference in the resurgence of peace in Syria, Egypt, Somalia, Russia, Yemen, and the Ukraine.
• I SHALL sue to block publication of a sexist book, “How to Succeed in Politics Without Having Accomplished Anything At All.”

Bill Clinton~

•  I SHALL live by my vow of chastity when Hillary’s White House is filled with nubile government interns.
  
  

Washington D.C. Fire Department~

WE SHALL install hundreds of additional fire alarms in Washington, D.C.

to

quell the continual pants-on-fire outbreaks.

Molli Nickell, a commentator for TheBlaze, posts additional fables at  www.grannyguerrillas.com.
To look inside her book, “Uncle SCAM’S Book of Politically Incorrect Fables,  Click Here. This quick-read, 96-page book will entertain, educate, and amuse the patriots as well as the low-information voters in your personal universe. Pass it around! Save 25% off the cover price of $7.95 when you order through createspace (the e-commerce division of Amazon.com). Use discount codeTG4NRPFB. Click here to order
A 35+ year veteran of the publishing business, Molli also is a book doctor/editor who helps writers get their work published at www.getpublishednow.biz
Read more at http://joeforamerica.com/2014/01/pants-fire-political-resolutions-2014/#PttqqFwBlKUKPjIl.99